05.14.07
Posted in Talking Fish at 7:40 pm by Seth Scrimsher
The 50 million dollar cruise ship Empress ran aground early this morning around 1am. Wait! What? 50 Million and they can’t find someone competent to drive it. Hell my car only costs .0006% of 50 million and I have never rammed it into anything! Well there was that time I hit the guard rail by Northern Lights Restaurant, I blame Erica. But that’s beside the point. The point being this is the 4th time, 4th, four, one more then 3 times, the Empress has violated some immobile object larger then itself.
On Oct 22, 2003 one year after the Empress was built it hit a navigation lock at the Ice Harbor dam on the Snake River near Pasco, Wa. The lock was closed to recreational boats for 5 weeks while it was repaired. A dam. Huh? Now I’ve never built a dam but I’m pretty sure most of them are big.
On Nov 27 2003 it develops steering problems and runs aground on the Columbia River near The Dalles, Ore. Woah! What? Develops steering problems 1 month after ramming a dam. Even Dick “We’ll be greeted as liberators” Cheney could have seen that coming.
March 24 2006 two and a half years go by with no more accidents, I can only assume by the grace of god. Unfortunately god must have been watching college basketball’s March Madness because once again the Empress rams itself into a place it shouldn’t be. This time thrusting itself onto an innocent sandbar near Washougal, Wa. First off “Washougal”? Secondly, are they drug testing their captains?
Fast forward to today May 14 2007. The Empress begins taking on water after it runs aground off the coast of Alaska outside of Juneau. Either the Empress is not spending enough money on captains or charts (that’s maps to all us land lovers). Or could it be because they are one of the only cruise ships that doesn’t buy fish from Tonka Seafoods when they dock in Petersburg Alaska? Coincidence? I don’t think so. Empress call me. We can lift this wretched curse. We just need an indian shaman, fresh goat leg, a large fruit bowl, tweezers, and a Holy Purchase Order for 100 lbs of halibut next time you are in town.
Permalink
05.13.07
Posted in Recipes at 2:49 pm by Seth Scrimsher
Salmon Soup
This recipe is really easy to prepare and tastes like a rainbow dancing on your tongue Well, if you use Tonka’s smoked salmon.
7.5 oz canned salmon skinless boneless or smoked
1 onion chopped
2 cloves garlic minced
1 T olive oil
2 red potatoes diced
2 cups milk regular or lowfat
salt and pepper
butter (optional)
Heat the olive oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. saute the onion and garlic in the oil until softened. Add the salmon and potatoes. Cover with the milk and simmer until the potatoes are soft, around 20 minutes or so. Add salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with parsley and toss a scoop of butter in if desired. Brag to your friends about what a good cook you are.
Permalink
05.09.07
Posted in Recipes at 4:02 pm by Seth Scrimsher
Not the Super Secret Squirrel way (I would never reveal that for less then $14,578.34). But follow these 5 steps and you’ll be on your way to making smoked salmon that will have your friends mooching off you even more then they already do.
Product:
First and most import are quality and cleanliness. Use only fresh or fresh frozen salmon that is of a high quality. Don’t use that 20 lb water marked gator salmon that was just about ready to spawn-out and die before you caught it up the river. Smoking does not “cover” or “hide” poor quality fish. In fact it will call attention to problem areas, think tight hip hugger jeans. A good rule of thumb is to only smoke fish you would eat fresh.
Preparation:
Make sure your preparation area is clean and sanitary, beg/bribe your mother to come over if need be. Carefully clean and remove all the slime and blood from your fish. Fillet or “split” the fish leaving the skin on. Remove the pin bones down the middle of each fillet with small pair of pliers. Next cut the fillets into equally sized strips, this insures they all finish smoking at the same time. Try to keep both the fish and your preparation room as cool and clean as possible during this time to keep bacteria growth to a minimum.
Brine:
The second step is salting the fish known as brine or brining. Most people prefer to start with a simple brine consisting of salt and water. Start with a basic mixture of 2 ½ cups of salt to each gallon of water. This allows the flavor of the smoke to shine through on your finished strips. Feel free to experiment adding flavors to the brine at this time. For example add a cup of brown sugar or a ¼ cup of soy sauce to your salt water mixture.
It is important that you use only pickling and canning salt, dairy salt, or kosher salt in your brine. Using iodized salt will add impurities and additives that will cause unpleasant flavors in your smoked fish. It is also best to used distilled or bottled water without large amounts of chlorine. You don’t want your salmon tasting like the community pool, or maybe you do, I won’t judge.
Make enough brine to completely cover all of your fish. A three to one ratio is recommended. For example use 30lbs of brine for 10lbs of fish. A gallon of brine will weigh approximately 8lbs so you would need 4 gallons to adequately soak 10lbs of salmon.
If you cut your strips 1 inch thick then the brine time should be right around 2 hours. Here is another step you can alter to personal taste but we have found 2 hours to work best. Make sure your mixture is refrigerated the whole time you are brining. Rinse afterwards to remove excess salt before drying.
Drying:
An important step in smoking your fish is drying it to form a “pellicle” coating. This pellicle coating seals in moisture and helps the smoke stick to the fish. I’m not sure how or why, could be magic, but without it your fish will not smoke properly. To get your pellicle, place your fish in the smoker and let it air dry for 2-3 hours until you notice a tough shiny coat develop. Once the pellicle fairies are done and the coating is visible you are ready to smoke your fish.
Smoking:
Now that you are ready to smoke its time to pick which wood chips to use. You can choose from a variety of hard woods. Fruit woods like apple, plum, etc. will leave a sweeter smoke flavor. Alder, hickory and mesquite leave a sharp smoky taste. We use Alder wood chips on all of our smoked fish at Tonka.
Avoid soft woods like pines, firs, and hemp. These can produce a harsh tasting soot and/or cause you to play nintendo and eat cheetos the rest of the day.
After picking your wood flavor place your salmon in the smoker before you fire it up. The most important secret to delicious smoked salmon every time is to slowly bring the temperature up in stages over the course of several hours. This allows the smoke to permeate the fish and prevents curd from forming.
Once you have slowly brought the internal temperature up to 160 degrees Fahrenheit you should let it continue smoking for an additional 30 minutes. All in all your entire smoking time should last 3-4 hours. The longer you let it smoke the more it will dry out and resemble jerky. Experiment with cooking times to find your personal favorite. Really as long as you have cooked it at 160 degrees for at least 30 minutes your salmon is safe to eat.
It may seem complicated at first but it will become routine after a few tries. Be sure to keep notes and records (preferably not in crayon on a used napkin) as you learn what brine mixes, smoke times, and drying times work best for your individual tastes.
Smoking fish is a great way to spend a lazy summer afternoon while fooling people into thinking you are working hard. Grab a bottle of wine or a case of beer and spend the day hiding from responsibility. Be warned though, the smell and the smoke will bring people running faster then paparazzi chasing B list pantie-less celebrities. Of course you could just have us do all the work and ship you some of the best damn smoked salmon ever.
Submitted with bated breath and sweaty palms to problogger’s “Top 5 Contest”.
Permalink